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Trauma Can Block Your Intuition
How trauma can make us doubt what we know in our soul.
I’m back in therapy (hold for applause) and while I know I’m doing good work, it’s very strenuous. It makes me tired mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. After a session, I’ll need to lay for hours just regulating my system.
I can see the impacts of the work, though. I am actively addressing unhealthy dynamics in my relationships. I’m giving myself more space to process my emotions. I’m more self-compassionate, more vulnerable with myself. This means I’m able to be more authentic with other people. It’s definitely healing. It’s just difficult, at times, and a process that takes patience.
A byproduct of bringing all of my wounds to the surface to be seen and healed is that my mental and emotional bodies are deeply affected. Even if I’m not reliving a trauma directly, I find it’s easy to slip into unhealthy patterns of thinking after a session. I’ve essentially spent the past hour grave-digging and all the bones are disturbed, right?
A lot of my healing is around relating to others and intimacy. I’ve struggled much of my life to have access to true intimacy — not just sex or emotional connection with the few friends I let in, but the whole enchilada, to let someone in fully.
