How Do We Forgive the Unforgivable?

Photo by jens holm on Unsplash

Oof. Strap in kids, this one is going to be a bumpy ride.

I remember seeing a film in college called “Smoke Signals”. It’s a beautiful film, powerful and resonant, but what stuck with me for years afterwards was the poem at the very end. In it, there was the question “How do we forgive our fathers?” and then the even more poignant “If we forgive our fathers, what is left?” I asked myself that question, chewed on it for a while. Ultimately, I came to see that what was left was me. A me I’d yet to be introduced to.

“If we forgive our fathers, what is left?”

- Forgiving our Fathers by Dick Lourie

So, how do we forgive?

Before we get to how, I think the first question might be why, right? Why is it important to forgive the unforgivable? And when I say unforgivable, I do mean the heinous, the disturbing, the things that keep us awake at night. You might expect some kind of Sunday School answer here, like because it’s the right thing to do or because everyone deserves it. Those things might be true, maybe, I don’t know. If they are, that’s not the most important reason, not to me.

To me, we forgive because it sets us free. I forgive, I forgave, for myself, for my own freedom from suffering. Because holding…