Birthing The Divine Union as the Divine Feminine
The Divine Counterpart journey is not for the faint of heart. It’s filled with ups and downs, unforeseen twists and turns. You have to be adaptable, willing to learn and grow, to shift your perspective nearly constantly. You’re pushed to surrender, to give up control, pushed to the very edge of what you feel you’re capable of emotionally, physically, and psychologically. And then you’re pushed beyond that. Your ego is shattered over and over again. You’re often isolated; and you’re confused, angry, or exhausted in turns. It is, put more simply, hell.
The Divine Feminine, especially, tends to feel like they’re all alone going through the challenges of this journey because many times they’re in separation from their counterpart. They’re holding space: doing lots of healing work, balancing unfamiliar energy, and they have no idea if their counterpart is even awakened. This has been my experience, anyway.
Before I delve further into my own experiences of this journey and how I’ve come to feel that the DF has a unique job in “birthing” this union, I want to discuss the terms “Divine Counterpart”, “Divine Feminine” and “Divine Masculine”.
What is a Divine Counterpart?
I use the term Divine Counterpart as opposed to Twin Flame here, because I’ve come to see that some who are connected at the soul level have agreements to partner for a lifetime, regardless of the soul connection. There are connections in which the dynamic will very closely align to the “Twin Flame Journey” — which I’ll talk about further below — even if the person feels this may not be their Twin Flame. Often, they are high-level soulmates, but I think they could be any kind of soul connection. (There are as many soul journeys as there are souls on this earth. I don’t deal in hard and fast rules.)
So, the term Divine Counterpart is meant to be inclusive. If it’s a soul connection, you mirror each other, catalyze one another’s growth and you feel tied to this person for life (i.e. The tie doesn’t dissolve after lessons are learned, as is often the case with solely karmic connections), then it’s likely this person is your Divine Counterpart. Congratulations, you just got on the worst rollercoaster of your life!
What is a “Divine Feminine” or “Divine Masculine”?
Now onto the very gendered “Divine Masculine” and “Divine Feminine”. These are terms used widely in the spiritual community. They have nothing to do with gender; that’s a manmade, social construct created to fuel hegemonic power.
However, language is limited and so is the human mind. We could, and should, find other terms to relay the meaning of these two polarities, but “feminine” and “masculine” are so deeply embedded into our collective consciousness that everyone knows what it means when you say them. The same goes for the “Divine Feminine” and “Divine Masculine”; they reference polarities, both internally and externally.
Like the concept of Yin/Yang, it’s widely believed that we each have within us both “masculine” and “feminine” qualities, physically, yes, but also energetically. Part of our work is bringing them into balance. On the Divine Counterpart journey, we’re doing the same, only externally.
Usually, in these connections, there is one counterpart that carries predominantly “masculine” energy and the other predominantly “feminine”. While they both have to internally master the balance of their own energy, they are balancing in exchange with one another as well.
The “Divine Masculine” often shows up as the counterpart that is less spiritual or less spiritually awakened to the connection at the onset. They are the more “earthbound” of the two, perhaps more grounded in their physical experience, more “logic” focused. The “Divine Feminine” tends to be more aware of the connection, more open to their intuition as opposed to logic, and more receptive to the 5D connection between them.
What Was My Experience as The Divine Feminine?
This was my experience as the Divine Feminine. I was made aware of the connection pretty early on, though I denied it. I was the one who first surrendered to what I felt. Therefore, I was the one who tended to this connection, who focused on what needed to be done to bring it to fruition in the physical.
What do I mean by that? I mean that much of the responsibility fell to me to “do the work”. At the start, this looked like recognizing the connection and accepting it. This may sound simple, and it is, but it’s not easy. I was deeply triggered at first and ran from my counterpart in fear of rejection or fear that I was making it up. I didn’t trust myself. That’s step one, the first part of the work. I had to learn to fully trust my intuition. Meanwhile, my counterpart was in a relationship and on another continent.
After acceptance came the healing. Much of this wasn’t intentional on my part. Things would come up in my personal life, I’d be triggered into depression or anger or pain I couldn’t even name. I’d have to process it, let it move through me.
Along with emotional pain came physical ailments. I started to feel when my chakra centers were imbalanced. The biggest problem I had was digestive issues.
One night I came home, got some Chinese food and a glass of wine: a perfectly normal meal. But after eating, I was sat up for hours feeling nauseous, wondering if I had food poisoning. I vomited it all up after forcing myself to chew some Tums to try to settle my stomach.
After that, my digestion was a mess. I wasn’t sick, it was my energetic system. My Solar Plexus would be this dense knot in my center and I wouldn’t be able to eat because I was so bloated. I couldn’t digest food. I spent weeks eating only baby food in very small amounts, sitting up at night to try and sleep because I couldn’t lay down without pain, discomfort, and nausea.
Digestive issues are a common ascension symptom, and it’s no mistake this happened when it did. I was healing. I was raising my vibration, and as a result, my energetic system was being upgraded. But the way it showed up wasn’t pleasant.
Along with digestive issues, I had joint pain and muscle aches. When my root chakra was imbalanced, my feet and ankles would hurt. When my throat chakra was imbalanced, I’d get TMJ and my gums would start bleeding. Real physical issues that had no basis in a medical problem.
I’m convinced that some of what I was healing was for my counterpart, and not for myself. Sharing an energetic system, which Divine Counterparts do, means that we sometimes share the burden of our karma, our trauma, and the things we need to heal. Sometimes, unknowingly, I’d be helping him move through something major.
Energetic hygiene became really important because I was highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and energy. Meditation, yoga, crystals, salt baths, bodywork, reiki, and other methods of healing and re-centering became common, necessary practices.
Finally, I was forced to put massive faith in The Universe, asked to believe that coming together was possible despite the repeated rejections from my counterpart, the distance, and the fact he was dating someone else. That was no small feat.
It took a lot of energy to continuously shore up my faith in this connection when everything in my physical reality said it was ridiculous. I felt extremely insecure about what my future would look like. Would he be part of it? If we had a shared purpose, why weren’t we talking? If he was supposedly my counterpart, why didn’t he feel what I felt?
I would be triggered every time he rejected me, terrified that I’d made it all up, that I was crazy. But every time, I’d feel ill and cold like my body was rejecting the falsehood. As soon as I settled back into my intuition, trusted my own knowing, stillness and peace would come over me.
You know, it’d say. You know what this is. Have patience. Have faith.
And so I had to give up the need to control what this looked like as the process unfolded. I had to give up the need to know how things would play out. I had to take part in this connection, make room for everything that was shifting within me, for the healing, for the ascension. But I couldn’t know when or how we’d come together. Blind faith.
Birthing the Union?
I realized it was much like gestation, a period where I had to hold space for this connection within me, I had to feed it, to tend to it by ensuring I maintained my spiritual and energetic health. I had to sacrifice my body (physically, emotionally, energetically) to this process, over which I had no control. I had to wait, for what felt like endless months, to see the outcome of all of my effort and investment in this. I had to trust that it would culminate in something worth the work; a living, breathing, beautiful union in the physical.
For much of this process, my Divine Masculine counterpart was completely in the dark. He was in a karmic relationship, as is often necessary before counterparts can come together; the majority of their karma has to be cleared so that the counterparts can energetically polarize without any interference. He had no idea what this was and told me multiple times that he was in a relationship and not interested in me at all.
Eventually, near the tail end of this process, he came into a series of tower moments and awakenings — I imagine it was something like a bludgeon to the head — but it was my responsibility to manifest this union into being with my faith, my steady work, my unyielding commitment to this path and this connection. It’s the Masculine’s job to move the connection forward in the physical, but energetically, the Divine Feminine creates the environment, the conditions for growth — the Feminine plants the seeds, and come harvest time, the Masculine goes to work.
Is it fair? Maybe not. I definitely had moments I felt it was unfair during our separation. At my lowest points, I wanted to completely get off this ride. But these days, I see it more as just part of the balancing act, the give and take of this thing. If I didn’t do my part, Union would never be possible. In the end, it’s more than worth it for the life we’ll share together.
❤
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